What are “disconnections”? It’s exactly what it sounds like: detaching one thing from another, like unplugging a device from an outlet. It can also mean separating oneself physically, emotionally or psychologically from another group. The inference is that disconnecting is a choice to leave, a step downward, as in losing one’s sense of purpose.
I prefer to think of disconnecting in positive terms. Who hasn’t needed a break from daily routines by means of a vacation or a little ‘retail therapy’? Some very pleasant hours have been spent listening to music while getting my fingers and toes repainted. Silence is also an excellent way to disconnect and find pleasure in meditation. Monk-like, I have gone entire days without the sound of a human voice. Quiet is very soothing, especially when gardening. It’s just you and the plants and dirt speaking a language of our own.
But there’s another kind of disconnection—one I didn’t choose.
The emotional weight of getting older
One form of disconnection does weigh on me emotionally—one that accompanies getting older. I’ve observed cycles within my lifetime and have developed a respect for objective facts along the way. I am baffled, for example, when anyone says, “climate change isn’t real.” The scientific evidence is clear to me that the weather is getting warmer. Gee, it’s not like the Earth hasn’t experienced several intervals of climate change over the millennia, some with catastrophic consequences for life forms. Entire civilizations have collapsed because of periodic weather patterns. Current science is conclusive. Yet some deny the reality. My response? Disconnect from whoever makes this statement.
Some feel disconnected to others because of co-mingling with foreign cultures. I enjoy getting to know other cultural norms, although there are many who resist this. A co-mingled community is actually fun and interesting in spite of some obstacles like food. I did not grow up in a household that seasoned food very much. Light salt use, pepper, herbs to taste, but spicy food was not on the menu. To be polite, when served Cajun or Indian cuisine, I always order a dish with a lot of rice, and Thai food at a “1”. Not a fan of jalapeño peppers either. Differences are not the same as disconnections. Differences can be embraced.
Where despair sets in: The loss of historical memory
Where ‘disconnection’ despair sets in comes when I see modern society moving away from a sense of history. It appears there is less emphasis in schools on studying the past, and even less on applying its meaning to the present. History has cycles, like climate patterns, but more predictable in length. The Roman Empire prevailed for 400 years and then fell apart.
Studying the progression of its decline is fascinating and has implications for modern society. Americans live in a dream state of mind that our form of government will prevail into the future without adaptation and support. Newsflash from the historian: democracy can fail and probably will if history is any guide.
Our educational system no longer supports liberal arts studies. This group has been responsible for American innovation since our founding. Take a little history, some language studies, philosophy, social studies, math and science, and put the pieces together to create something completely new.
Apple’s design innovations emerged from Steve Jobs taking a calligraphy class in college. Calligraphy? I doubt most Gen Zs even know what this is. English majors have nearly disappeared. First there was “Spellcheck”, then “Word Processing” and now “Artificial Intelligence”. It is now possible for any functionally illiterate individual to write decent prose—not many original thoughts, but it will be written without obvious errors. (Rest assured, unless my editor invades this piece, no A.I. was used in its composition). Abbreviations and colloquialisms have always been part of the English language’s magical ability to adapt, but is it getting better?
The monetization of everything
Everything that can be measured will be measured which includes monetizing everything possible.
We now have legalized sports gambling and remote contracts; our phones are mini computers that allow us to pay bills, take pictures and source information instantly, not to mention the email and phone part.
The capabilities are dizzying. Some features of the modern age are fabulous: I love streaming movies any time I want—but must be mindful of the impossible number of passwords. What connects us can also separate us.
Bowling alone: The loss of community in modern America
Have you noticed how many more activities are now “solo”? This shift leaves many of us feeling disconnected from the communities that once sustained us. In his book “Bowling Alone“, Robert D. Putnam noted the statistical decline in club and societal memberships. Until the post-WW2 boom, belonging to a social group (or groups) like the Kiwanis or Elks Club was considered important for one’s standing in the community. Not so long ago, it was common for adults to share apartments and carpool. This is seldom the case anymore – solo apartments and single car ownership are now the norm. Working folk seldom stay in the same community their whole life; jobs change, living arrangements change. It is small wonder that there is less commitment to employers, employees, public service and creating communities that take care of each other. The loss of community connections has left many of us adrift
Enter the era of individualization. I feel disconnected, as if viewing all these changes from a distance. Why? Because I remember when times were different—not worse in all respects, but decidedly different, and sometimes better. I remember “community”
Building and maintaining connections across generations matters more than ever. If you’re navigating distance with grandchildren, here are some ways to bridge the gap.
Living longer, feeling further apart
Perhaps this feeling of being disconnected is related to the fact that we are living longer. Advanced medical care is a plus, but there is more distance across generations. The cycles never repeat themselves precisely like the last time or the time before. But the cycles come nevertheless within a slightly different context. Heraclitus said around c. 500 BCE “no man steps in the same river twice, for it is not the same river and he is not the same man”.
The only constant is change. Our challenge is to study it, learn from it, go forward hopefully and take care of each other on the journey.
A Yankee by birth, a Midwesterner and Southerner by heritage, Barbara Glass lived in Texas for 20 years and em-braced all things Southwest. Glass celebrates aging by experiencing it firsthand, and helping the next generations along the way, including her own children and grandchildren. “I try to bring an understanding of the aging perspective within the context of community and nonprofit initiatives.” Part of this engagement is writing about aging in celebratory and thoughtful ways. “I’m living the dream by telling our stories.”
