The man’s wife had retired several years earlier. As an accomplished leader of a CPA firm, he was accustomed to working 60-plus hours a week in a fast-paced and motivating environment. Well respected and the recipient of prestigious awards, he had also built a strong reputation as a successful investor. Financially prepared for retirement, he ended his career and joined his wife in the next chapter of their lives.
Immediately after retiring, he and his wife took their children and their families to Disney World. Then, they went to the Grand Canyon, checking it off his bucket list. It was the perfect retirement honeymoon.
But he would soon learn that retirement requires more than financial planning— he was in for a shock.
One month into retirement, reality sets in.
His wife started her day before he woke up. She had a structured daily routine: She went to the gym in the morning, played Mahjong with friends once a week, and cared for her elderly parents. She also served as a board member for a local non-profit, keeping her mind and schedule full.
On the other hand, he no longer had an office to go to and had not developed a routine. He rarely had anything planned for the day. With nothing scheduled, he might linger in bed. Once up, he would have coffee, check his email, play Wordle, and start the crossword puzzle. Some mornings, it was almost noon before he got dressed. With nothing planned, he would watch his favorite news channel, go for a walk, and then come home to take a nap. Sometimes, he would run a late afternoon errand before coming straight home again. Most evenings, after dinner, he and his wife would settle in to watch an episode on Netflix. As he ended the day, he would often feel empty and worthless. He didn’t necessarily miss the “work,” but he missed the feelings of gratification, sense of accomplishment, and community involvement.
Feeling the shock!
He had not anticipated feeling this way during his retirement—he was in shock! For the first time in his life, he felt alone and depressed. Nothing gave him a reason to get out of bed in the morning.
Mike Drak, author of “Retirement Heaven or Hell,” writes about his retirement shock. “Take it from me; there’s nothing more depressing than sitting alone at home all day, watching the news while being bored out of your mind. If you think about it, we lose a lot when we retire. All at once, we lose our sense of purpose, identity, community, structure, and routine. Finding ways to replace these elements is important, or we could risk declining mental health.”
This experience is more common than many retirees anticipate. A study by WebMD reported that almost 1 in 3 retirees are treated for depression after leaving their careers. The sudden loss of structure, daily interactions, and a sense of purpose can seriously affect mental and emotional well-being.
What causes the shock?
Shock happens because we don’t know what we don’t know before leaving a career. Most of us know planning for the financial side of retirement is critical.
But what about the non-financial side? If we are unaware of what to expect, we do not know how to prepare for it.
Planning for the non-financial side involves knowing what will change and what we stand to lose: our identity, feeling valued, a sense of purpose, interaction with others, confidence, ongoing learning and growth, and structure.
How to avoid the shock
Knowing there will be losses, having ideas for replacing them, and acknowledging what you’ll miss can help reduce vulnerability to retirement shock and its consequences.
Ways to replace losses and what will be missed
- Stay mentally and emotionally healthy by engaging with others.
- Have a structured routine and a reason to get out of bed in the morning.
- Permit yourself to take a break— playing hooky is good for the soul.
- Give back by volunteering for a cause that is meaningful to you.
- Stay curious—pursue hobbies and lifelong learning.
- Mentor and inspire others.
- Strengthen relationships with family and friends.
- Join groups that match your interests, such as book clubs, travel groups, fitness classes, wine tastings, dining clubs, and religious or spiritual communities.
- Create a legacy through meaningful projects that have a lasting impact.
- Set and accomplish long-awaited personal goals.
- Get guidance from experienced retirees—ask for advice and lessons learned.
Transitioning to retirement is like any momentous life change—the more you prepare, the more mentally, emotionally, and physically ready you’ll feel for this well-deserved lifestyle. Cheers to new beginnings!
