Health & Well-Being

For the Woman Who Feels Rejected

So, you’ve been rejected — the feeling of your breath being taken away, the breath being the very element that connects our physical body and soul. And what usually follows is the pain, the anger, the devastation — a physical experience of a disconnection that has happened not necessarily to us but within us. That disconnected feeling comes from the belief that rejection reflects our value, that we must not be loveable. When our true nature is love, the belief that we are not loveable creates a disconnect between our lived experience (feeling unlovable) and our authentic nature (love).

In any situation, rejection included, the outcome has already been determined. We cannot go back in time and change it; we cannot control anything about the future because it has not occurred. And when it comes to rejection from someone else, we certainly can never control, nor would we want to, another person’s journey. Only we can determine our best path, just as they do the same for them. You get to choose how you arrive at the outcome or move forward from it: in fear, draining your energy and life experience, or in love, the height of your energy and life experience.

We may even find gratitude for the rejection because it releases us from greater pain in the future and allows us to see where the connection of healing is within us.

Our will (being a Leo, I have an iron-strong will) is a mighty gift that allows us the ability to choose. And choose between what? There are always two options in any given situation: fear or love. If the outcome of the position we find ourselves in is the same in the end, and I get to choose to see it through the lens of fear or love, I’ll choose love every time because love is what feels most authentic. Love is our true identity. Rejection, a form of fear is the simple invitation to return to love. So maybe, we can call it release instead — a release to make space for love.

Here is how to shift from fear to love if you are feeling rejected:

Suppose someone rejects you because you stand in your authenticity, wanting to experience and follow the depth of a connection in a relationship; in that case, their rejection is just a mirror of the love they have rejected within themselves. A person cannot give something they don’t first have for themselves. It is why you can only give me $5 if you have it first.

So, is rejection really personal to you? Or is it more about them?

Rejection is usually a reaction from someone who prioritizes “busyness” at the expense of everything else: relationships, self-care, self-love, and balance. They spend so much time “doing” that they forget to “be” to resonate in the presence of life experience. The present is the gift at our feet in every moment, opportunity, and experience. We are given everything in this life to love, savor passion and pleasure, and follow an expanded sensory experience. Why do you think we can see, smell, hear, taste, and touch? When we don’t make space for being, it leads to the feeling of a soul death — the inability to experience love, happiness, gratitude, service, unity, creativity, playfulness, joy, and inner peace in daily life.  

A person’s rejection of you allows you to respond in love — to choose to love yourself. Their rejection offers you the gift of loving yourself rather than blaming yourself or taking responsibility for their incapability to be in a relationship. How often do we feel rejected and immediately think: “What’s wrong with me? What did I do? What didn’t I do? How can I fix it?”

Do you mean you want to spend more of your peace, energy, and time fixing something with someone who doesn’t value your worth?

No — no, thank you. 

You are priceless, my dear.

Love is the space where we know our worth and how we remember who we truly are.  

And to love, we must be given a contrasting opportunity that allows the invitation for love to enter. It’s just like how experiencing darkness will enable us to understand light or why the lungs contract before expanding, creating the impetus to breathe. 

Self-love is always the answer to living our best life. When we love ourselves, we allow the good to come to us in the most authentic ways. When we love ourselves, the Law of Attraction will create opportunities to expand that love. That is your magic. That is your power. When you resonate in love for yourself, it is no longer dependent on anyone or anything else, which means nothing can take it from you. Your magic is always to choose to see with the perspective of love. 

And if you get stuck trying to shift, it also helps to have a friend or two in your corner to remind you of your magic — the fantastic, fabulous BEING that you are.


Noel Koenke

Noel Koenke is a Wellset Select Practitioner and Natural Hormone Balancing Specialist. She has a master's degree in Spiritual Care, with over 15 years in Spiritual Coaching and certifications in Reiki and Crystal Bed Healing. NK Spiritual Care offers Crystal Bed Healing Sessions, Oracle Card Readings, and Soul Transformational Coaching Programs. Let me help you align with your true self. For more information on Noel Koenke or to schedule an appointment, visit

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