Goldie Hawn and Kurt Russell. Rita Wilson and Tom Hanks. Pauletta and Denzel Washington. These Hollywood couples have maintained long-term relationships; they’re still deeply in love. And they’re not the only ones.
My husband and I are celebrating our 50th wedding anniversary this summer, and we are incredibly happy with each other. The mention of this milestone always begs the question, “What’s your secret?”.
But it’s not just the two of us who have maintained healthy, long-term relationships for decades. We also have many friends who’ve kept strong and vibrant marriages over the years.
Is it always easy? Of course not. That’s why 50 percent of marriages end in divorce. Even the strongest relationships need constant attention, care, and effort. We can talk about the obvious, like good communication, which is the foundation of any successful relationship, but there are also other keys to keeping long-term relationships fresh and exciting.
How to communicate effectively in marriage
When I hear a couple say they never argue, I have to question that assumption. If you never disagree, you’re not really talking to one another. Relationships don’t live and die by the sword, but by lack of communication.
In my 50 years of marriage, I’ve learned that couples who openly share their needs, desires, and concerns—while also listening to their partner—are much better prepared to handle challenges as they come up. Good communication in marriage means being honest about your feelings while creating a safe space for your partner to express theirs.
When should couples fight vs. let things go in relationships?
Nobody’s perfect, and disagreements happen in every relationship. Some days you’ll wake up on the wrong side of the bed, or your partner will do something that pushes your buttons. It’s normal.
The key is to pick your battles wisely and know when to fight and when to let go. The secret isn’t never fighting—it’s fighting fair and forgiving fast. In our house, that might mean one person says, ‘I need ten minutes to cool down,’ or ‘Let me try that again, what I really meant was…’ We’ve learned that how you argue matters more than whether you argue. If the issue isn’t serious, why turn a molehill into a mountain? If you’re tempted to say something you’ll regret, give yourself space and count to ten before reacting.
And if those regrettable words already slipped out, be big enough to apologize and say, “That didn’t exactly come out the way I intended, so I’m sorry.” That’s called going for the win-win, not the win-lose.
How to build mutual respect in marriages after 50
In healthy long-term relationships, couples go through many changes over the years—career pivots, empty nesting, retirement, and more.
That’s when aligning life goals and values matters most.
Couples who drift apart often lose sight of core values or become so focused on individual goals that they neglect the shared vision they once had.
In mutually respectful relationships, sometimes one partner is the driver, other times the passenger, and both are comfortable switching roles.
Ultimately, it’s about respecting each other’s perspectives and individual roles within the shared team.
Why scheduling quality time matters in long-term relationships
Even when my husband and I were younger, with two small children and juggling busy careers (plus his naval deployments and my changing nursing shifts), we still managed at least one long weekend away each year just for the two of us.
As time went on, we kept that tradition alive with regular date nights and weekend getaways dedicated to celebrating us.
Marriage advice for couples over 50 includes prioritizing your relationship even when life gets complicated.
Despite hectic schedules, successful couples carve out quality time—even if it’s a candlelight dinner at home followed by a romantic movie, or slow dancing to old favorites in the living room.
Creating these special moments together naturally leads to another essential element, maintaining closeness in all its forms as relationships mature or grow.
How to maintain intimacy in long-term relationships
This is one of the most important secrets because intimacy is a key part of any long-term relationship after the age of 50.
No, it might not be as exciting or frequent as when we were younger, but it’s still essential.
Intimacy isn’t just physical—it also includes emotional, intellectual, and spiritual closeness. That might look like hiking, cooking together, decorating for the holidays, or simply cuddling on the couch.
These small, affectionate gestures reinforce a deep sense of belonging.
What keeps couples having fun after decades of marriage?
A family member once confided, “We don’t have fun anymore.” Sadly, it’s easy to get caught up in life’s seriousness or the daily grind.
So, I asked her: “What did you do together in your early years that made you smile?”
Long-term relationships hold countless memories. Revisiting those happy times that made us laugh and feel carefree helps us rekindle that same joy later in life. Ride bikes. Go to a county fair. Camp in the backyard. Swing on the playground. Build a snowman.
Frequently asked questions about long-term relationships
Q: What makes marriages last 50 years or more?
A: Successful long-term marriages share common traits, such as consistent communication, mutual respect, shared values, and a willingness to grow together. Couples who remain happily married prioritize their relationship and face challenges together.
Q. How do you keep romance alive after decades together?
A: Keeping romance alive after decades requires intentional effort. Schedule date nights, surprise each other with small gestures, maintain physical affection, and create new memories. Treat your partner like you’re still dating—even after years of marriage.
Q: What do happy couples do differently in long-term relationships?
A: Happy couples focus on gratitude instead of criticism, keep their friendship alive alongside romance, and never stop being curious about each other. They know love is both a feeling and a daily choice.
Q: How do you resolve conflicts in long-term relationships?
A: Successful couples fight fairly by taking cooling-off periods when needed, apologizing quickly for hurtful words, and focusing on solutions rather than winning. The goal is understanding each other, not being right.
Q: How do you handle major life changes in a long-term relationship?
A: Life changes like retirement, empty nesting, or health challenges require open communication, flexibility in roles, and a team mindset. Successful couples adjust together rather than letting change divide them.
An unknown author once said, “A true relationship is two imperfect people refusing to give up on each other.” No words ring truer.
Healthy long-term relationships after 50 don’t happen by accident—they’re built through daily choices, shared laughter, and a commitment to growing together.
