I recently had a family reunion of sorts. I was asked to come back and speak to an organization I had been a member of for a long time. Leaving this organization was a difficult decision. I had spent years learning its systems and training and becoming accepted into its ranks, but over time, I noticed that its mission no longer aligned with my purpose.
I wrestled with the “stay or go” decision for several months before finally leaving. As my husband explained, I decided to “swim away from the pier.” When we swim away from the dock, we leave behind an identity, organization, or role—essentially, an ego identity. It is in our self-protective nature to cling to some form of identity, whether that be tied to a career, religion, sexual orientation, race, or even a hobby.
For years, I would say, “I’m a Miller.” It was a way of identifying with my family of origin, describing traits passed down from my parents and grandparents—attention to detail, a strong work ethic, perfectionism, and a satirical wit. I clung to this identity for safety, security, and perhaps a sense of elitism. However, as I grew spiritually, I realized these traits weren’t always serving me. I’ve since learned to notice when I rely on the “I’m a Miller” identifier and have begun to let it go.
I clung to this organization in much the same way I clung to my family identity. As is often the case with organized systems, they have procedural rules and guidelines we are strongly encouraged to follow. When we obey the rules, we are firmly positioned in the “right” category. If we don’t, we risk being ostracized or labeled as outsiders.
When invited to speak to the group, I took the opportunity for self-reflection. While choosing a topic of universal appeal, I realized how much my beliefs and views had expanded since my earlier days within the organization. My identity had become larger, broader, and more inclusive.
Swimming away from the pier can be frightening. Sometimes, our feet no longer touch the bottom of the lake, and we are forced to learn how to support ourselves without the dock’s security. But in that uncertainty, we grow. Walking away from my position within the organization allowed me to grow in ways I never would have if I had stayed.
In “The Untethered Soul,” Michael Singer explains this process of swimming away and letting go. He further explains that we become the watchers of our thoughts, realizing we are not our thoughts. As spiritual beings, I believe we are also the watchers of our ego identities—whether those identities are tied to our jobs, talents, physical attributes, or affiliations.
Our one true obligation is to our spiritual being(ness). We should never place any physical or societal identity before our connection to our spirituality. When we release our attachments and hold them lightly, we create space for growth.
There’s an old saying: “Let go and let God.” I believe this phrase perfectly describes the process of trusting ourselves and knowing that we are supported.
I won’t mislead you—it’s a scary process. Letting go and swimming away from the dock feels uncertain, but the rewards are endless. We realize that we are safe. We learn that we can float and trust the current. We discover that God, or creative intelligence, will guide us to new and exciting possibilities.
We are not losing ourselves when we let go—whether it’s an identity, a position, or a system. We are making space for something greater. Swimming away from the pier is not an act of abandonment but one of courage and trust. Letting go allows us to float into new currents of growth, discovery, and deeper spiritual connection. By releasing our attachments and embracing the unknown, we align more fully with our spiritual being(ness). It is here, in surrendering to creative intelligence, that we find ourselves guided, supported, and truly free. The waters will carry us exactly where we are meant to go.
CJ Miller is an author, artist, and host of “The Spiritual Artist Podcast.” His book, “The Spiritual Artist,” is available on Amazon. He hosts spiritual art retreats throughout the year. For more information, visit www.spiritualartisttoday.com.
