When you think about it, social media was very much the beginning of the end.
We were told that it would connect us with our friends and allow us to share personal slices of our lives. But instead, we have found a new facade culture or curated self. These terms describe the habit of presenting false images online — ones that show people in the most ideal pose.
Second, the political challenges started. As years passed, we shared less information and views politically because we found that we would get unfriended or bombarded with negative comments.
Several weeks ago, I listened to a replay of an Oprah Winfrey segment where she interviewed social psychologist Jonathan Haidt.
Haidt has written several books, including “The Anxious Generation” from 2024, which discusses the impact of social media on community dynamics. He compared social media to “the fast food of social life,” suggesting that social media offers quick and easy interactions that lack the depth and nourishment of more meaningful, in-person connections.
Convenience quietly replaced connection.
Since then, social outlets like browsing the record store or spending Friday night at the bookstore have disappeared. Yes, there was a time when grocery shopping was an opportunity to meet someone to date. Now, people order everything online and stay safely locked behind their doors with Ring doorbells, fear brewing.
We need to have a renewed culture of community.
Before all of this, connection looked different.
When I was young, I remember the neighbors sitting outside on the porch, sharing drinks and conversation. In such an intimate setting, they could not hide the flaws and challenges of their lives, and we all knew our neighbors’ shadow aspects. I remember my mother always cautioning us, “Don’t talk so loud—we don’t want the neighbors to hear.” But they did hear—and that was perhaps a good thing. It brought us closer together in our frailties and imperfections.
“Choose to develop community — consciously and with intention.”
Start small. Start now. Let connection be your quiet rebellion.
I challenge you to look for ways to include and infuse community back into your life. At the minimum, ask your family to put down their cell phones on Sunday and call Sunday a cell-free day. At the maximum, plan a neighborhood picnic or invite friends over for a game of cards. Consciously and with intention, choose to develop community in your life.
These times are challenging, and they will continue to be so until we start opening up to each other and sharing in genuine conversation—not hiding behind an avatar.
I call for a new push in regulations. We need to have a social media transparency policy. This would require everyone to have an active identity and picture on their posts and stand behind what they say. But that’s another whole article in itself.
Let’s get back to the good stuff. Let’s find ways to reinsert community into our lives.
If you’ve read this far in the article, don’t stop now.
Right now — use your phone. (Yes, I say that with irony.)
Use it to text someone and ask them to come to dinner or stay for a game of charades.
Let us grow together.
As Helen Keller said, “Alone, we can do so little; together, we can do so much.”
